numbertwohero | Prismatica Inbox

[Well, he could try. Shoto's less willing to let that kind of thing happen, now that he's experienced what can happen when someone doesn't have enough Chroma, or needs to moonlace. It takes away a lot of the awkwardness when he can think about it as basically first aid.

That's not to say it's not awkward at all, he's still working out a lot of things like where his hands go and how to ask if things are okay or how he's doing, but still. It helps. And it definitely looks like Izuku could use it, which means he doesn't even think about it before he's shutting the door and nodding his agreement.]

You aren't imposing. I'm not doing anything right now.

[Just tossing and turning and failing to sleep for more than ten minutes at a stretch. Honestly, the distraction sounds nice. Reaching out a hand towards Izuku, he nods towards the couch. It seems...less awkward than inviting him to his bed? Even if there's more room there...]

Do you want to sit down?

[ The bed would be so awkward for both of them, really, the couch is the better choice! It's the first time Izuku's actually outright asking for help and he's still...not quite doing it as outright as he could be.

He's trying, though, and when Shoto holds out a hand, Izuku takes it without hesitation. He's not sure how to explain the need for affection as anything other than a lack of chroma, even though he knows it's partly his Iris-brain messing with him. ]

Please. I'm still sorry to come over so late...

It's okay, really. I don't really sleep much, and it's kind of hard to sleep here, anyway, so you're really doing me a favor.

[His insomnia has always been pretty bad, and he has a lot of trouble staying asleep, so it's not terrible having a distraction. And, well, Shoto gets it, honestly. It's kind of difficult to ask for this kind of help. It's not like studying for an exam, or training, or even bandaging a wound. It's...well, at its heart it's still hugs, and affectionate physical contact, and asking for that sort of thing is still really awkward. So, it's all fine, really.

Taking Izuku's hand, Shoto leads the way towards the couch. There's plenty of room, at least, and he takes a seat at one end, gently pulling Izuku down to his left-hand side. There's not that much difference in temperature between the two, but it's still habit, in a way.]

You can get comfortable, I don't mind.

[ It's sweet, really. Or the same careful consideration Shoto seems to give to most things. He comes off as careless a lot because of how dry he is, but he really does think things through and try to consider others these days...and while sometimes he comes out with something completely out of left field, he'll do things like this: keep people on his fire side, or carry around first aid kits out of consideration of his insane classmates, or try to understand others even though he's sort of terrible at it.

It earns a smile out of Izuku, if a bit of a watery one, because waterworks come too easily to him. ]

Is it...okay, to hug you?

[ He sounds shy asking it, but Izuku's very firm on asking first when he's in his right mind. ]

[There are a lot of reasons Shoto comes off the way he does, but at his heart he's a considerate person, or at least tries to be. He definitely makes more of an effort now than he used to, anyway, and some people have earned more of that than others. Izuku is one of those, definitely, which means that no matter what he asks, Shoto's got no problem agreeing, especially if it'll make that watery smile a little less watery.]

Yeah, that's fine. I don't mind.

[In fact, he'll even lift his arm, in case it's easier for Izuku to come a little closer that way, settling an arm around his shoulders carefully.]

Is this okay?

[ It's absolutely okay and settles him down into his own skin a little more (or that's how it feels, anyway) and Izuku's quick to lean into it, cuddling up into Shouto's side faster than he might have back home because it's sort of a relief right now. ]

Yeah. [ At least the waterworks have been staved off...for now. ] Sorry, I just...feel stupid?

Stupid?

[The word is echoed with the smallest amount of puzzlement, Shoto looking down at Izuku and adjusting the way he's sitting a little to make it more comfortable. It's kind of like fitting puzzle pieces together, in a way. Figuring out how to sit this close to someone. He's still not sure he's doing it right, but at least no one's complaining.]

You shouldn't feel stupid. We all have to moonlace here. If it's not because of our quirks, it's because of the moons. It's not really something you can tough out alone.

[Not to say he wouldn't have tried his hardest, if it hadn't been very effectively proved to him within the first week and a half he was there that moonlacing was a. necessary, and b. effective. It's still a little awkward if he thinks too hard about it, but there's no point in trying to fight something just to be dumb about it, and get himself hurt when there are people here who might need to rely on him.

Case in point.]

And I told you you could ask me any time. So it's not really a problem.

I'm not sure it's just that.

[ Izuku's not sure he's doing anything right, either, honestly. He's only really ever been this particularly physically affectionate with his mother, back home; since coming here he's learned to open that up to other people, but asking for it and more directly needing it is...awkward? He's never really liked bothering people when he can help it, but it's not entirely that so much as... ]

I, um... [ Hm. Izuku's thinking about it, trying to put it into words as he ends up resting his head on Shoto's shoulder partly for the comfort and partly so he doesn't have to look him in the face as he tries to work through it. ] ...I feel like an ignored puppy, or something? It's hard to explain. Around this time of the month I just...want attention.

[ And he feels terrible about it. ]

[Not just that. So, maybe a little that, but not just that. Shoto listens, looking down at the top of Izuku's head, at the bunny ears that match his hair and look just as soft. An ignored puppy...well, he can maybe understand that. Sort of. Izuku might not be very good at explaining, but he's doing a good enough job for Shoto to connect the dots and maybe understand a little.]

You're not very good at attention, are you? I mean, people paying attention to you. I thought it was just big crowds, press, but it's things like this, too.

[There's no judgement in it. He's just...trying to figure it out. He seems fine when it's the hero Deku people are paying attention to, but when it's Izuku himself...]

[ If Shoto wants to touch the ears, he can. As it is they sort of move as he talks, reflecting Izuku's moods; lowering when he's upset, quirking up when he's surprised, wavering uncertainly when he's embarrassed...It's not like he wasn't already an open book, but the ears aren't helping anything, the soft short green fur not helping them blend into his hair overmuch with their size.

Currently he's ducking his head, unsure. ]

I...I guess not. I didn't, um - I didn't really have...the same kind of attention until high school...?

[ How do you broach being sort of jumpy because of, uh, quirkless bullying. ]

[He definitely wants to, but it seems kind of rude to just touch them...after all, they are his ears. But eventually, he's going to either ask, or he'll just unconsciously end up fidgeting with them anyway. They look too soft and move too much for him to resist.

As it is, though, Shoto just wraps his arm a little tighter around Izuku in response to the way he's ducking his head, looking incredibly uncertain, wanting to transfer a little of his own assurance. Whatever Izuku wants to share, he can.

He could always take a leaf out of Shoto's playbook and just blurt it out, after all.]

I figured as much. Bakugou's been bullying you for a long time, hasn't he?

[He knows one when he sees one. Sure, maybe he's been improving to some extent, and Shoto's seen that, but...well, he's still got some gut reactions that don't exactly fade with time or respond to logic. And the way Izuku acts, like he's always trying to keep himself hidden, except for when he just can't contain his excitement or forgets himself...he might recognize that much at least. Even if he's gotten some of the reasoning wrong.]

I - I mean, Kacchan didn't exactly... [ Izuku flounders, because...uh, yes? Katsuki did exactly that, for years. ] He's not really bullying me these days...

[ The yelling and snapping and generally being belligerent, like he is with everyone. It's...not the targeted shit he got in middle school, and even then he'd stopped acknowledging Izuku at all for a while after the sludge incident. Izuku ducks his head further, into Shoto's shoulder. ]

And it wasn't...exactly just him. It was sort of, uh, everyone?

No, he's just rude to everyone.

[He ducks further, and Shoto lifts the hand brushing Izuku's arm almost automatically, instead tentatively brushing fingers through his hair, like his mother used to do for him, when he needed comfort. That kind of touch had helped him, maybe it'll do the same for Izuku, who seems clearly upset. Or at least uncomfortable.]

Everyone???

[That, at least, makes his fingers stop for just a second as he frowns, looking down at Izuku, feeling a little surge of...something. Righteous anger, maybe, or protectiveness.]

...I'm glad you're not there, anymore. You deserve to be treated better than that.

[What? It's true. Everyone does, but especially Izuku, who has only ever wanted to help people, who's hurt himself irreparably to help other people. People like Shoto, who were just as cold to him to begin with.]

[ Oh. He does settle down a little when Shoto starts carding his fingers through Izuku's hair, (rabbit) ears twitching before he relaxes into it, trying to think what to say. He can't explain exactly how he came into his quirk, because that's a secret (which Kacchan figured out) and Izuku would rather do a great many things than break All Might's trust.

But. This much information is public record, and someday it'll eventually come out, even though he's never exactly brought it up with his high school class. ]

My Quirk came really, really late. [ As in never. Until a miracle occurred. ] So up through middle school, everyone thought I was Quirkless.

[ He's not sure if Shoto has ever actually encountered how people sometimes act around those without a Quirk. But kids can be cruel, and he's maybe smart enough to get what Izuku's trying to say. ]

I don't really blame anyone for what happened, or anything. Kids can be pretty cruel, and our society is pretty Quirk-based.

[It's nicely affirming when Izuku settles a little at the touch, and for a moment while he works out what to say, Shoto's content to let the silence linger, focusing instead on how soft Izuku's hair is, on the feeling of the thick waves under his fingers. And when his friend finally speaks again...well, it makes sense. Sort of. He's never heard of a quirk coming in that late, but one as powerful as Izuku's...it would explain some things. About how he couldn't control it, how his body wasn't strong enough to support it. It was dangerous, and it's maybe even more of a miracle that he hasn't gotten himself or anyone else killed.

Still, it doesn't sit well with him. Not the late-onset quirk--the rest. Izuku might not blame them, but Izuku is perhaps the most selfless person he's ever met. And the rest...]

That doesn't make it right. Quirks might be a big part of society, but people without them are still people. And kids--it's one thing when they're small, but by middle school...they should know better.

[He knows exactly what kind of people, what kind of teachers would turn a blind eye, too, or teach those behaviors. His father had always tried to teach him that only being the strongest mattered, that those weaker than him should always be left behind. You do the work of a hero but the goal is to surpass all the rest. And maybe those lessons had sunk in, a bit more than he'd thought--after all, look at how he'd been at first, treating everyone in his class as rivals, potential roadblocks, or worse, just useless and irrelevant. Look at the way he treated Izuku.

Now it's Shoto's turn to duck his head a little.]

...I'm sorry, you know.

For what?

[ Izuku's startled enough by the admission to look up a little, although he doesn't sit up or move away. The feel of Shouto's hand in his hair is almost hypnotic, soothing that desperate need for affection and approval that Izuku feels terrible about having during Iris moons. He doesn't want to pull away and risk that stopping.

But he's more worried about why Shouto suddenly sounds apologetic than he is explaining it started young and just never stopped. ]

For the way I was when we first met. The beginning of the school year. I wasn't...

[Wasn't nice. He was cruel, even, fiercely competitive, feeling like this unknown challenger, this scared kid with no idea how to use his power didn't even know what he was doing, shouldn't be there, hadn't earned it--but he was wrong. He was so very, incredibly wrong, and the more he learns about Izuku the more he realizes that.

It's not a great feeling. Izuku looks up at him, Shoto can tell that much by the way the glow of his freckles changes, but Shoto's looking down at his lap, instead.]

I was just as bad, in my way. So, I'm sorry.

It's okay, Todoroki-kun. I was never upset with you. I mean...the only thing I was upset about was how you were hurting yourself.

[ Because when has his first thought ever been about himself?

Izuku reaches out with one hand to touch Shoto's cheek, gently redirecting his gaze to Izuku himself. ]

But thank you for the apology all the same.

[Of course. Of course Izuku wasn't even thinking about himself. Wasn't that the point? He didn't think about himself, and Shoto had been just as selfish. Those scars on his hands, they're because of Shoto, too, aren't they?

He doesn't have time to get lost in that train of thought, though. Because a moment later, one of those very same hands is touching his cheek, light and warm, and he's looking at Izuku looking up at him from below that mop of hair, eyes shining in the faint blue-green light, and his heart feels like it suddenly does a strange little flip in his chest.

Pretty.

It's a strange word to think. After all, Izuku might be smaller, but he's also surprisingly muscular, a solid weight to him, but...he is pretty in a way, isn't he? It's the way he smiles. The way he forgives people. The way he makes them want to be better, if there's any better in them to be.

There's a warmth to his cheeks, the longer he looks, but he can't seem to look away. It's just the lateness of the hour that's making him feel like this, probably, or the strange intimacy that comes from sharing things that aren't often shared. And yet, here he is.]

It's...not about you being upset with me or not. I shouldn't have judged you like that. And then you did this for me--

[He reaches down for Izuku's other hand, fingertips tracing the scars on his hands, and his heart does another one of those strange little flips at the feeling of that, too.]

--so, I'm sorry.

I didn't do anything special for you.

[ Izuku's still arguing, if gently, because...well, because. He doesn't see any of his scars as anyone else's fault or problem, as being "because" of anyone else. Maybe they're for other people - definitely that's the case - but he would never blame anyone for any of them, nor mind having them. The only problem with his hands, as far as Izuku is concerned, is the part where they might be unusable if he breaks them too many more times, because that would get in the way of being a hero.

He turns his palm up, and takes Shoto's hand. ]

I mean...I did things for you, but it isn't anything you need to feel...

[ He's unsure how to put it. ]

...I'll accept your apology, of course, but I've never once felt you needed to make it.

You've done a lot for me.

[The words are said simply, despite the intensity of his feelings on the matter. It's true. Maybe Izuku doesn't look at it that way, wouldn't, but that's just how he feels about it, no matter if he would have done the same for anyone.

Izuku turns his hand over and takes Shoto's in his, and he's quiet a moment before lacing their fingers together, letting the warm sensation of moonlacing settle even deeper into his bones.]

... I'm glad you're letting me do this for you.

[It's not like it's an exchange, exactly, but... he's still glad he's able to do something to help Izuku. Glad that the other young man trusts him enough to do this, too.]

[ It's...comfortable in a weird sort of way, where Izuku's still embarrassed but at least he knows Shoto is just as new to all of this as he is. They're on equally uncertain footing, and there's something genuinely comforting about that.

The warmth of moonlacing and the knowledge that Shoto isn't so far beyond him here makes him feel a little less nervous. As...less nervous as possible, anyway.

He turns a little to hide his face against Shoto's neck anyway. ]

It's...Um...t-thank you.

[There is something kind of reassuring in that. Jiro, Iida--they've been really good about everything, but there's still the knowledge that so many of his classmates are so far ahead of him in everything. The fact that he and Izuku are roughly on the same page makes things less awkward, for sure.

It doesn't stop the strange little ripple of feeling that washes over him as Izuku hides his face in his neck, but that's okay, too. Tentatively, Shoto lifts a hand to stroke through the other boy's hair, fingers brushing the base of those bunny ears, equally cautious as he explores their shape.]

Is...this okay?

[ Oh. That feels weird, but it's a good weird and Izuku nods his head after a pause, settling more comfortably against Shoto as he does so. He hasn't really had anyone touching his rabbit-ears before now, beyond Ochako poking them curiously once. ]

It's okay.

[Izuku's response makes him feel a little more comfortable with the gesture, and he shifts a little in turn, sort of half-turning so it's easier for the other boy to lean a little more against his chest. His fingers comb through that mess of green, stroking the ears that stick up from the middle, exploring their shape and the sleek fur that covers them.]

...They're really soft. Do they...feel the same as the rest of you?

[They're a part of his body, so probably? It'd probably be weird if they didn't have any feeling at all. But he's still curious, is all.]

Prismatica Inbox

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

wrap here?

works for me!