numbertwohero | Prismatica Inbox

[When Enji finally gets his phone back, he'll find two messages pending: one from just after his lastessage, the other from almost half an hour later.]

I don't want to pretend that everything is fine. If you have something to say to me, just say it, instead of acting like all of this is on me.

Why did you share that picture, anyway

I'm not having this conversation over text message.

[The response is a couple hours later.]

Fine. Where

The gardens on Level 3.
Whenever you have time.

Saturday afternoon. I don't have training or lessons that day.

[It's still a concession that irks him to make, but he can't not know. Some part of him does want to know what his father has to say for himself.]

I won't take up too much of your time, don't worry.

And I shared that photograph because it's the only thing I came here with, and back then everything was different. [At least to him.]

Fine.

[It's not. Or, maybe it's just he doesn't know if it can be. His feelings are complicated. The rest...the rest he doesn't answer. Different how??? Shoto remembers what happened shortly after. When his quirk showed up. When everything changed.

But... he'll be there, like he said. Saturday afternoon.]

[And when the day comes, Enji is waiting with a letter he prepared for his son. In case of another case of him putting his foot in his mouth and not knowing where to go from there.]

This is for you. [He hands it to him with two hands, bowing deeply as he does. Aside from the exchange he hasn't planned to take up any more of his son's time than that.]

[Whatever Shoto is expecting, or thinks he's expecting, it clearly isn't this. It isn't anything like this. His father bowing in front of him, showing a kind of humility he's never seen, and offering him...offering him what? A letter? Some kind of paper.

He doesn't take it right away, clearly caught off-guard. What should he do?]

...What is this?

[For all that he's guarded--he always is, especially around Enji--there's still a certain vulnerability to his voice.]

Just take it.

I’m not good at this kind of thing. Saying the right thing. I’m good at fighting and protecting or saving.. words are more complicated and I don’t want to mess up what I have to say. I hope that makes some sense.

Please just read it when you have time. [He keeps his eyes to the ground not looking at his son until he takes the letter from him.]

I am sorry for not being the father you deserve and I’m sorry it took me this long and a conversation with All-Might to realize how shitty of a job I’ve been doing.

[He doesn't want to take it. He doesn't want whatever words Enji has prepared. He wants...He doesn't know what he wants. He wants to stay mad. He wants his father to not be here. He wants his mother back. He wants this to be easy.

He knows it isn't that simple. Just like he knows he can't turn down that letter. Even if he also knows he doesn't have it in him to accept that apology right now. He'll still take the letter.]

It isn't just me you owe an apology to. I don't want an apology. I want--

[It's hard to keep the anger from his voice, to keep himself under control. After a moment, he speaks again.]

You owe Fuyumi and Natsuo more than just words. You owe mom more than that. I want to see that.

I know that. I’ve apologized to them. I don’t think you’ve lived through that yet since you’ve been here, but I’ve taken steps to show that I want to do more than just apologize.

[He’s not sure how much he should say, and the temptation to clam up again is strong. But he persists.]

Natsuo shares your sentiment, but I’m trying my best for all of you. Even your mother. But they aren’t here and that means there’s not much I can do but try to show you that I’m doing my best. I don’t need you to forgive me.

Just tel me what you want from me. If you want me to leave you alone, I don’t like that but I’ll do it.

[Even though he'd mentioned his mother just seconds earlier, his jaw still tightens when Enji does the same. His mother...she wouldn't even be in that place, in that situation, if it weren't for Enji. None of them would be in the place they were.

He doesn't even know where Toya is, what happened to him. Right now, he's still not sure he wants to know. Fuyumi and Natsuo don't really talk about it.

Right now, he doesn't even know what he wants.

Shoto's quiet for a long moment, looking at the letter in his hands. It would be easier if he could just throw it all away. Tell Enji to go fuck himself, and just...

But he can't do that, can he?]

I don't want anything from you, here. Just--keep your shitty self alive. Don't you dare go and die. I'm doing fine on my own. And when we get home--then you can show me the rest.

[Shoto's silence doesn't bother him because he has the same tendency to close himself off when he's in deep thought, so when his son does speak he pays special attention to precisely what he's told.

It's harsh, but not unjustified. He can respect the decision Shoto's come to, and honestly it isn't as bad as he'd assumed his son's response would be.]

I understand. I won't trouble you with having to worry, and I'll trust that you're doing okay too... [Which seems impossible for a father to do. Even a father as horrible as himself. Being concerned about his children, and especially Shoto, isn't something he will overcome quickly, but he'll do his best to abide by those wishes.]

You know how to contact me if you change your mind.

[He won't change his mind. That's what he wants to say. After all, why would he? He's still furious at his father, still suspicious, still struggling with years of emotions he's never been able to fully explore or process. It's a long road, and one he's still not sure he even wants to start walking down.

And yet...his mother's words still echo inside him.

Shoto offers his father a brusque nod, finally turning and starting to walk away, though he pauses before leaving. He doesn't look back, exactly; just...stops. His head is turned just slightly to the right, enough to show a bit of cheek but nothing else. Not his eyes.]

...If you text me, I'll answer. So you know I'm still here.

[It's more than Enji deserves, maybe, but. He's still family, as fucked up as that is. And he knows both Fuyumi and his mom would say as much.]

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A U G H

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